Waiting

Everything seems to be fragmented, so.... fragments.


Still waiting. Italy or Bonaroo? Jobs or no Jobs? Sweden or NY? Or something else... stay here, go back to CA?

Still dealing with other things too.


German's going well. My grad class is great too.

Been having fun hanging out. Reading more. Working on paper/writing sample for grad school, trying to figure it out. Maybe I will join the Peace Corps after all. I don't know if putting off decisions is a good reason to do it, but I wouldn't be alone.

Had a great time in VT skiing for a few days. I really enjoy skiing. I also have more respect for mountain climbers now. I climed up a third of the mountain, with 80-100 mph wind, in my skiboots, carrying skis and poles. 7 degrees without the wind. Hardest things I've done in a while. Skiing in fresh powder was amazing.

Stress. I've been trying to spend time with all the people I missed while in CA. Life doesn't always cooperate though, does it?

Been keeping on schedule for the silent ballet, but my FMTM interview still isn't done.

Lots of cool things coming up (Alan Wallace at Columbia, Olafur Eliasson as well, tons of shows, plus I'm working the Stars of the Lid show, and maybe the Whitney Biennial too, or at least attending.)

Still, I feel.... lost. It's been over a year now, I should have figured this out by now.

i am responsible

It's amazing how idle I feel, even though I am always doing something. Too much to do I guess. I want to do more. I also don't feel content like I used to. I'm not exactly sure why that is, but I guess I miss the direction I used to have, or the feeling of direction.

I finally begin the German lessons tomorrow. Next week I'm going skiing, and I've been good about working about, writing, and making art, although I wish I was doing more of each. I have quite alot of reading to do as well, but I guess that will always be the case.

I will be finding out about Italy and Sweden soon, in the next 2 weeks and 6 weeks, respectively. I think it will be nice to have some direction again. Not having a second job has been stressful too, one reason I've felt time is passing so fast I suppose. Not working kind of sucks.