thenewobjective@gmail.com
What am I doing here? / Why I'm Here/ The New American Saint
I’ve made this argument before, but let me lay it out here again. Many of my peers have made money in investments, or graduated top colleges and went right into the work force, or are struggling to climb the corporate ladder, selling drugs/trinkets/movies/ads/etc. This world has never held much appeal to me, and that hasn’t changed. If anything, I know have deeper philosophical and spiritual commitments to resist American capitalism. I believe that technology is something to be used skeptically, and that one must constantly ask and revaluate what we are gaining and what has been lost. Our way of life is not sustainable. I also understand that there are certain things that I can get away with doing in my early-mid 20’s that will be impossible later in life, once I begin to have my priorities diverted by responsibilities. I view most things from at least two perspective; that of my individuality, and historically, in terms of communities. I know that I will look back on this time in my life, this chapter of the narrative, and will be glad that it exists. I am learning alot about myself, and people in general, not to mentioned collecting valuable life experience and things to write about.. I suspect most of those who jump right into marriage and work will regret their decision.
But, I am torn between staying here and struggling to make things work, and returning home. Friends, familiarity. A chance to save money. What harm can come from a few more months? But I worry so… I don't think I can save money, and getting a new place will require a longer commitment. I dunno. I'm starting to plan seriously for the summer, which I don't think I can do from here.
_
What a month this has been. It’s beginning to seem like every time I speak with someone at home I learn of another death. First Matt the Bat. Then Sean’s mom. Now. DiPrinzio died? He still owed me a dinner for getting a 5 on my AP. I wish I'd gotten in touch with him over the years. He really made an impression on me, and certainly increased my interest in poetry and language. RIP.
__
Do we become adults when our elders simply die off? Is it when we assume adult roles in the community by default, because they have gotten too old or have simply passed on? I wonder if anyone ever truly feels like they are worthy of their elders. I suspect that every generation in history has reservations about their ability to fulfill that role. When we are young, we don’t realize that they were in our place once, they were young once. We can’t really process the fact that they weren’t always around. We project that permanence into the notion of God, the proto-parent.
I’ve made the mistake of reading On the Road again. From the first chapter I can’t wait to just jump on a bus. Luckily, or not, I got a job offer to ride me out until the end of next week. After that though… Adeventures! Can’t forget that. Time for adventures, freedom, the open road, seeing my friends. Damn bills. Where to go? LA. Denver. Arizona. Atlanta. Chicago. Temping seems like a good way to finance this, and Italy is right around the corner. Sweden looks like a possibility in the fall, and if not, well there’s Greece or Thailand, Germany or China. The world presents itself to me, it’s time to have a time.
---
“A new kind of American saint.” Kerouac was really onto something, reminds me of Dreyfus writing on Heidegger. A medieval European saint, our notion of what a saint is, is not the same as a Middle Eastern saint or an Indian saint. Or a Greek Hero, or Chinese sage, or whatever other archetypes exist. These figures all embody, and typify, the spirit, the geist, of their civilization. Well, America was founded on a mix capitalism, individualism, and freedom, and so the living heroes of our day aren’t the Puritanical ascetics or morally virtuous saviors, but adventurers, the wanderers, those who make good for themselves and live a stylish, unique life.
The Ghost of the San Francisco of Jack Kerouac. Even then, they felt the ghost of the past, in their case Jack London, now the Beats, and the Hippies, and the Queers, and so on. Time to make some times.
----
So, my schedule. Last week I hung out with Kara a bit, doing Thanksgiving dinner with her and her friends. We also saw Heima, the Sigur Ros movie last monday, and it was amazing. There music is very powerful, and, though the live recordings were flawless and the performance stellar, actually being-there is unlike any other "concert" (if it could be called that) I've ever been to. It was like church, when it still meant something to me, when it was still filled with unknowns (and wonder.) I purchased the "Heima" dvd, (Heima means both home and homeland in Icelandic) but havent yet the new double EP (with re-recorded versions of old songs, which are fantastic, and acoustic versions of others, plus some new material which is pretty majestic.) The dvd is on two discs, and is worth the 33 bucks for the delux edition, which includes a beautiful 100 page hardcover book of photographs. The first disc, which is what was screened, is a 93 minute documentary, following a series of free performaces the band gave in Iceland last summer (06) after their Takk... world tour. They also played a protest concert in Snæfellsskála, where a dam to produce electricty (and power aluminium factories) has been built. They played completely acoustic. The whole thing is unbelievably gorgeous, and the commentary, performances, and locals are beyond description. I wouldn't know where to start. But there seemed to be so much power underlying it all, the concept, there love for what they do, their real authenticity and resistance to commodification (which, even though they are selling a product now, financed the free concerts, in a manner of thnking, and they also made sure to make the product a worthy souvenir (a 100 pages of stunning photos! and! a double dvd! you should see the package.) The second disc features the performances uncut, along with bonus footage and more performaces, totalling over 150 minutes. (I'm beginning to think that my attention to detail and precision, as well as social awkwardness, makes me appear mildly autistic...) The director, and the directors of photography, have done an amazing job. Dean DeBlois, the director, is a canadian who has made such films as Mulan, Lilo & Stitch, and the canadian tv series from the 80s the raccoons. He also made some of the bands other videos. He is actually incredibly talented. Then on Friday I hung out with the O'Reilly-Green's, which was too short. I wish I hadn't had work on Saturday morning. We did get to drive around and chat and see the Red Woods (finally!) and had a great dinner.
___
Hung out with Eliot the last two nights. He's been on tour with Through the Eyes of the Dead, All that Remains, Haste the Day, and As I Lay Dying. Interesting experience, I'll muse on it later. It was good hanging out with a friend from home. I;m going to LA in 2 weeks, and then Lauren will be in town, and then Caitlin too! I'm feeling better since I purchase my ticket home (Dec 23.) The rest will work itself out. I wish it would hurry up, though. I want to inspire, to create, and to influence. I am cultivating a public persona.
_____
So it goes.
But, I am torn between staying here and struggling to make things work, and returning home. Friends, familiarity. A chance to save money. What harm can come from a few more months? But I worry so… I don't think I can save money, and getting a new place will require a longer commitment. I dunno. I'm starting to plan seriously for the summer, which I don't think I can do from here.
_
What a month this has been. It’s beginning to seem like every time I speak with someone at home I learn of another death. First Matt the Bat. Then Sean’s mom. Now. DiPrinzio died? He still owed me a dinner for getting a 5 on my AP. I wish I'd gotten in touch with him over the years. He really made an impression on me, and certainly increased my interest in poetry and language. RIP.
__
Do we become adults when our elders simply die off? Is it when we assume adult roles in the community by default, because they have gotten too old or have simply passed on? I wonder if anyone ever truly feels like they are worthy of their elders. I suspect that every generation in history has reservations about their ability to fulfill that role. When we are young, we don’t realize that they were in our place once, they were young once. We can’t really process the fact that they weren’t always around. We project that permanence into the notion of God, the proto-parent.
I’ve made the mistake of reading On the Road again. From the first chapter I can’t wait to just jump on a bus. Luckily, or not, I got a job offer to ride me out until the end of next week. After that though… Adeventures! Can’t forget that. Time for adventures, freedom, the open road, seeing my friends. Damn bills. Where to go? LA. Denver. Arizona. Atlanta. Chicago. Temping seems like a good way to finance this, and Italy is right around the corner. Sweden looks like a possibility in the fall, and if not, well there’s Greece or Thailand, Germany or China. The world presents itself to me, it’s time to have a time.
---
“A new kind of American saint.” Kerouac was really onto something, reminds me of Dreyfus writing on Heidegger. A medieval European saint, our notion of what a saint is, is not the same as a Middle Eastern saint or an Indian saint. Or a Greek Hero, or Chinese sage, or whatever other archetypes exist. These figures all embody, and typify, the spirit, the geist, of their civilization. Well, America was founded on a mix capitalism, individualism, and freedom, and so the living heroes of our day aren’t the Puritanical ascetics or morally virtuous saviors, but adventurers, the wanderers, those who make good for themselves and live a stylish, unique life.
The Ghost of the San Francisco of Jack Kerouac. Even then, they felt the ghost of the past, in their case Jack London, now the Beats, and the Hippies, and the Queers, and so on. Time to make some times.
----
So, my schedule. Last week I hung out with Kara a bit, doing Thanksgiving dinner with her and her friends. We also saw Heima, the Sigur Ros movie last monday, and it was amazing. There music is very powerful, and, though the live recordings were flawless and the performance stellar, actually being-there is unlike any other "concert" (if it could be called that) I've ever been to. It was like church, when it still meant something to me, when it was still filled with unknowns (and wonder.) I purchased the "Heima" dvd, (Heima means both home and homeland in Icelandic) but havent yet the new double EP (with re-recorded versions of old songs, which are fantastic, and acoustic versions of others, plus some new material which is pretty majestic.) The dvd is on two discs, and is worth the 33 bucks for the delux edition, which includes a beautiful 100 page hardcover book of photographs. The first disc, which is what was screened, is a 93 minute documentary, following a series of free performaces the band gave in Iceland last summer (06) after their Takk... world tour. They also played a protest concert in Snæfellsskála, where a dam to produce electricty (and power aluminium factories) has been built. They played completely acoustic. The whole thing is unbelievably gorgeous, and the commentary, performances, and locals are beyond description. I wouldn't know where to start. But there seemed to be so much power underlying it all, the concept, there love for what they do, their real authenticity and resistance to commodification (which, even though they are selling a product now, financed the free concerts, in a manner of thnking, and they also made sure to make the product a worthy souvenir (a 100 pages of stunning photos! and! a double dvd! you should see the package.) The second disc features the performances uncut, along with bonus footage and more performaces, totalling over 150 minutes. (I'm beginning to think that my attention to detail and precision, as well as social awkwardness, makes me appear mildly autistic...) The director, and the directors of photography, have done an amazing job. Dean DeBlois, the director, is a canadian who has made such films as Mulan, Lilo & Stitch, and the canadian tv series from the 80s the raccoons. He also made some of the bands other videos. He is actually incredibly talented. Then on Friday I hung out with the O'Reilly-Green's, which was too short. I wish I hadn't had work on Saturday morning. We did get to drive around and chat and see the Red Woods (finally!) and had a great dinner.
___
Hung out with Eliot the last two nights. He's been on tour with Through the Eyes of the Dead, All that Remains, Haste the Day, and As I Lay Dying. Interesting experience, I'll muse on it later. It was good hanging out with a friend from home. I;m going to LA in 2 weeks, and then Lauren will be in town, and then Caitlin too! I'm feeling better since I purchase my ticket home (Dec 23.) The rest will work itself out. I wish it would hurry up, though. I want to inspire, to create, and to influence. I am cultivating a public persona.
_____
So it goes.
posted by tno at 23:43
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