commiting to something just for the sake of committing is... good/bad/a necessary evil?

The crackheads here are not all as loveable as Tyrone Biggums, but they have their charm, I suppose, their own character. There is one guy for instance, I’ve seen him twice in the same spot. He has the characteristic whiteness around the mouth, telltale sign for sure. He stands at the bottom of the stairs leading to the Muni/BART station at Civic Center, playing the violin. But, well, he clearly has no clue how to actually play, but he is so intense and serious, so committed. He even has a stand set up, with music on it. Once I have a few bucks I think I’m going to go and interview him, bring my tape player. Someone probably beat me to it, but man, there’s got to be a story in that. I think I’ll do that tomorrow actually. And wait until I post that video, this guy is pretty funny.

Anyway, kinda had an anxiety attack yesterday. Not sure what to do. I got so frustrated in class yesterday debating big issues in global political economy, and now, I dunno, I guess I'm not sure if I want to commit to grad school. I'll always be stressed. I want to do something to help people, so I guess if I can work for development, or import/export, with an MA in IR it could work. I dunno.

This year has been one of admitting to myself that re-thinking, re-analyzing, re-adjusting, re-orienting, re-evaluating my plans is not giving up, is not quitting. I left Starbucks, I stayed in New York, Lex and I broke up, I came home early from Europe, I came to San Francisco. So, then, would staying here just for the sake of committing to something be intelligent? Would going home be giving in? I'm not ready to give in yet, but I am getting weary in this job/apt hunt, and these classes aren't enough to keep me here. Let's hope it falls into place soon.