About 40 Years Too Late

It's funny how a city's past accomplishments can over shadow it's present. This is of course the case in NY in so many ways, but NY is so fast paced, that the past is usually trampled, and new things are popping up all over the place in every concievable front. For the most part, I feel NYs already peaked, but who knows. I could be wrong.

Being here in SF, however, I constantly am aware of this spector of the '60's and especially seeing video from that time, I feel as though I am 40 years too late in coming here. Let's hope we can change that soon.

When a person does drugs in order to escape reality, which is likely the majority of users in the modern world, it is an unfortunate thing, and not something to be condoned. It is of course understandable, however it is not productive. When a person uses drugs in order to gain a deeper insight into the nature of reality, this can be a very productive thing.
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I hope to have an apartment set up very soon. Once I am settled, my plan is to start exploring more of the city, especially those sights and activities which are free; the Sea Lions, the MoMA, the park, etc. I'm so sick of going to open houses. I'm a pretty reserved person, plus I am super busy with applications and school and stuff, and I feel as though I am falling behind. Since I've started working again especially, I feel as though I don't have the energy to do the things I'd liket to/need to do. The old me, the me who took at least 20 or more credits per semester, who worked 35+ hours a week, who balanced an active social life and long time girlfriend with road trips, intense school work and a fulltime job would kick this me's ass. I don't know how I did it back then. I'm really stressing about all these apps. I want to apply to grad school, as well as have some other options in place, but all the deadlines seem to be coming up. I think I may need another year to prepare for grad school.
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I can feel the past tugging on me in many ways. The longer I exist here without putting down roots, the harder it becomes to escape, as old friends, acquaintances, and experiences are constantly on my mind. I have been dreaming a lot of home, and of people from my past, such as my Grandmother, and it only confirms my prior statement.
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Andall this new responsibility, finding a place, paying for everything, juggling all my deadlines, work, etc, has really driven home the fact that I’m not in college anymore. It’s been a while. Not that I’ve ever been the typical student, having worked very hard for so long. Part of me wishes Saturday nights could be what they seem to be for others, a night to party and go out, not to sit in a coffee shop typing up proposals for a research grant.

Which reminds me, I need to get back to drafting up that proposal.