Rejection means increased possibility

SO much has happened in the last week, I felt I needed to update. The last few months have been hard. I am so used to working all the time and going to school, that the month of december confused the hell out of me. I was neither working nor in school. I tried to read, I've been styding greek, trying to write and play music, but really I spent too much time sleeping and go depressed, I think. I've been worrying too much about money, and the fact that I still have not been paid yet makes it worse. I began working at Purchase College in the International Programs and Services office at the start of this month, which has been fun, but I need to learn how to balance my life all over again. I've been keeping up, more or less, with the Silent Ballet deadlines, and I've gotten an offer to write for a newspaper, but I haven't had time to finish the final drafts. I'd also like to do some creative writing, as well as shop my theses around for publishing. I need to develop a thicker skin for rejection, cos it's going to happen alot. I guess that's ok though, the trick is not to give up.

I did not get accepted to the program in Thailand. So now the next step is to figure out what the fuck to do. Keep working in NY? Apply for other jobs? Should I move to Europe or Asia? I plan on applying for Fulbright again, maybe a Rhodes Scholarship as well. I'll probably get rejected, but it's worth a try.

Things with Lexy have also gotten complicated. I'm not going to go into details, but things have been changing for a while now, and I think we both knew it's been time for a change. We got into a big fight last weekend, and as a result, it acted as a catalyst for accelarated change. Here we are. We reached a compromise I think, that makes both of us most happy. It wasn't easy, but I feel good, and she does too. I think we have each been torn in half, and hopefully this will resolves some internal confusion. Ok, that was all vague.

This is a personal entry... Oh well. Sometimes I need to vent and write down what's going on in my life to structure everything.

In other news... Rob and I finally made it to the Spanish Painters: El Greco to Picasso at the Guggenheim. Quick summary: The Guggenheim continues to be overpriced, the scafalding is still up around the building (over a year now), Russia! was way better than Spain..., shows that are themed geographically do not always make sense, and El Greco was so far ahead of his time I cannot believe those works have escaped my attention! Picasso is a bit hit or mess, and I have to agree with Rob in his assessment of Miro (he's a scam artist), while Velasquez is certainly one of the most powerful portraitists I have ever scene.

Coming Up: going to see Doug Aitken's Sleepwalkers at the MoMa (which is free! for purchase students.) I will likely be spending one weekend this month in San Francisco, so I'll review that whole experience. Explosions in the Sky are playing an amazing show at the Ethical Humanist Society, and I'll be covering it. And finally, the New York Comic Con, take 2. This time I'm getting in. February may be a good month. Let's see if I get to go skiing.